MERRY LISTMAS PART II - A.K.A BIG BUTS

First things first: BIG SHOUT OUT TO JOHN WRIGHT WHO READS THESE WOO.

While writing out the two lists below, I had a realisation. It's actually been at best a pretty sucky year for music, and only a mildly good one for film. However, all things being equal, there is a great balancer that puts 2012 on par with every other year. Sport.

My God, has this been the best year ever for sport, particularly for an English football/athletics/cycling/tennis-lover like me? The only blemish was on the football side of things, where Spurs were cruelly screwed out of European qualification by those jammy West Londoners Chelsea, and England did their usual from the penalty spot against Andrea Pirlo and his team of classy Italians. But everything else? Brits made the other countries looks silly. Anyway, here's a countdown of the best sporting moments of the year.

15. Chris Hoy Makes It Six

Edged out of selection for the individual sprint by Jason Kenny and moving rapidly through his 37th year on this fair earth, I had my doubts that Hoy could match his Beijing performance and win gold in every event he participated it. But the indomitable Scotsman did it. I just rewatched his Kierin win and it was incredible. It looked like he was going to be overhauled by Max Levy of Germany but he forced him wide then kicked again round the last bend to take it by a length. The team sprint was less tightly contested. A sliver medal from Sydney 2000 aside, Hoy was able to retire from Olympic competition undefeated.


14. The Unbeatable David Weir

What makes David Weir special is his ability to dominate over seemingly any distance he puts his mind to. In the London 2012 Paralympics, Weir won the 800m, the 1500m, the 5000m and the marathon. I would put money on him winning the sprints too, but with a tight schedule as it was he didn't have the time.

The 5000m came first, followed by a defence of his 1500m title from Beijing. He defeated Marcel Hug, the world record holder to win the 800m, and in the last day of competition he won gold number four in the marathon. This was domination taken to an extreme, and ensured that Britain's most famous paralympian remained that way, despite the fierce competition from Britain's other paralympic stars.


13. Spain Turn Up The Style

Looking back, it seems stupid that I ever thought that Spain were not the favourites to win Euro 2012. World and European champions as they may be, I thought that the young buckaneering German team would take it. Wrong. Spain passed their way into the final and were thoroughly boring for most of the competition, seemingly happy to do the bear minimum to progress. They faced Italy in the final, who had held them to a draw in the group stages. And they shone. The Italians were blitzed, utterly outclassed, and Spain were runaway 4-0 victors. Euro 2008, World Cup 2010 and now Euro 2012 - the Iberian steamroller can now claim to be the greatest international team of all time.

12. David Rudisha breaks the 800m record

Rudisha was always going to win the 800m. He was perhaps the most overwhelming favourite in any event at London 2012, more so than Bolt, Ennis and the rest. It was just a matter of how fast he could go. And go he did. His splits were staggering. His elegant stride carried him to a ridiculous 49.28 at 400m. He kicked at 500m, and the others could not follow. 18-year-old Amos tried, and limited his losses in the last 200m, but Rudisha was too far ahead. He maintained his immaculate technique and maintained his lead and crossed the line in the first sub 1:41 800m in history.

11. Richard Whiteheads's 200m Triumph

The 2012 Olympics were arguably the best ever; there is no doubt whatsoever that the 2012 Paralympics were the best ever. My personal highlight, ahead of Ellie Simmons and David Weir, was Richard Whitehead's unbelievable 200m win. One of the quirks of the paralympics is that certain disabilities lead to weaknesses in one area and strengths in another. Richard Whitehead, with his double blades, could only struggle round the bend, and was in 8th with 100m to go. But - get used to that word - the track straightened out, and Whitehead let rip. He stormed through the field like no one I've ever seen: with a 7m deficit at the start of the straight he finished like a freight train and took the win by 20m.

10. Big Ben Beats the Great Dane

He's the Chris Hoy of sailing. Unbeaten since he took silver in his first Olympics in Atlanta, Ainslie headed to Weymouth with a nation expecting a gold medal. And then it looked for all the world like his great rival, the Dane Jonas Hogh-Cristensen would beat him. Ainslie seemed powerless as Hogh-Cristensen finished ahead in all of the first six races. The gap was huge: a fifteen point margin separated them. Then in the seventh race, Ainslie won and HC finished eighth. The tide had turned but Ainslie was still some way behind. A series of narrow wins set up the final race: Ainslie needed to beat HC by two places to take Gold. And with a little help from the New Zealander Dan Slater, he did, and became the greatest Olympic sailor of all time.

9. England Bosh the All Blacks.

Second in the Six Nations (again) and beaten by Australia and South Africa in the autumn series, England, up against the All Blacks, looked to be heading for an ignominious end to the year. In the pre-match debate, some touted this All Blacks team as the greatest in history. Rarely had a team contained such brute strength, skill and intelligence as this team, led by Richie McCaw and the superhuman Dan Carter.

Were they complacent? Did they expect England to roll over? Well, they didn't. A dominating performance from the All Whites' forwards set up Owen Farrell to kick over 15 unanswered points at the half time break. Then the second half started, and the antipodeans realised they had a match on their hands and the All Black class became apparent: two quick tried reduced the deficit to one point. It looked like England would crumble. Then Brad Barritt went over. And Tuilagi. And Ashton. New Zealand hit back again but it was too late: England defeated a New Zealand side unbeaten in 20 tests by a record margin. It was the biggest win by a northern hemisphere team over the Kiwis in history.

8. Chelsea's Champion's League Triumph

It is with gritted teeth that I put Chelsea's against-the-odds Champions League win at number 8. But it's only fair: this was an underdog story for the ages. Looking down and out at the start of the second last 16 leg, Roberto di Matteo came in and brought the old guard back in from the cold for one last hurrah. Didier Drogba, my word. He played like a man possessed. They overturned a 3-1 defecit to win 5-4 on aggregate over an impressive Napoli, beat Benfica in the quarters comfortably, and then came up against Barcelona. The Barcelona team that can lay claim to be the best of all time, the team that contains the holy triumvirate of Lionel Messi, Xavi Hernandez and Andres Iniesta, to which you could add Puyol, Pique, Fabregas and Alves if only a triumvirate could be more than three.

Chelsea took a hammering but emerged from the home leg with a 1-0 lead thanks to a 45+2' Drogba goal. It wasn't the last injury time goal they would score, either. The second leg saw Barcelona race to a 2-0 lead, John Terry got sent off for kneeing Pedro in the arse, and that, my friends, was that. No team around could protect a lead like Barcelona - they just never give away posession. Except they did, once. Frank Lampard picked the ball up in first half injury time under pressure from Mascherano and with barely a glance up played a beautiful ball through the Barcelona defence into the path of Ramires who lifted it over the on-rushing Valdez. Chelsea were again ahead on aggregate.

At the start of the second half, Didier Drogba who had defended heroically to this point, tripped Fabregas in the box to allow Messi to score from the spot. But he didn't. The ball rebounded off the cross-bar and Chelsea lived to fight on. Barcelona were relentless. Cech got just enough on a goal-bound Messi shot to glance it on the post. Then in the dying seconds: the ball was hoofed upfield. Torres, a man vilified for his poor performances in a Chelsea shirt, picked up the ball. Valdez went to ground. Neville squealed. The ball nestled in the back of the net. 2-2. And that was just the semi.

After that, it seemed fated that Chelsea were going to win the final. Bayern Munich awaited in their home ground. Muller put the hosts ahead in the 82nd minute. Then Drogba - who else? - equalised from a corner. A goalless period of extra time sent the match to penalties. Mata missed, 0-0; Lahm scored, 1-0; Luiz scored, Gomez scored, Lampard scored, Neuer scored, Cole scored 3-3. Then Olic missed and Drogba - who else? - scored, 4-3. Schweinstiger, Bayern Munich with every fiber of his being, missed. Chelsea won. Spurs were demoted from that precious fourth Champions League spot.

7. Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt's Twitter bio proclaims Bolt to be the most naturally talented athlete to ever live. To quote Mark Cavendish, 'it's not arrogant if it's true'. With his feats in Beijing, Bolt achieved a level of superstardom new to athletics. He was all but unbeatable - the most perfect physical specimen, who rewrote what we thought possible. He claimed every sprint world record, and improved on them in 2009.

There's a but. There's always a but. Bolt ran his first ever 10-point 100m in the run-up to the Olympics. Meanwhile, his training partner Yohan Blake was winning with ease. For many people, Bolt was still the king. I thought he could be beaten. I was wrong. He cantered to a 9.8 semi-final win, and I knew then that he would win the final. He had it at 30m.

In the 200m he held off Blake again, winning narrowly at the head of a Jamaican 1-2-3.

With a team with 100m bests of 9.58, 9.69, 9.78 and 9.88 the Jamican quartet was on paper the fastest of all time. They delivered, winning gold and recording a World Record in the process, the first team under 37 seconds. The USA team ran the second fastest time in history but Ryan Bailey could do nothing as the fastest man in history powered away to take the win.

6. The Ryder Cup

Golf can actually be good apparently, who knew? Anyway, seven golfers from the UK were selected for Europe's 12 strong team, and in the first two days of competition, crumbled. Ian Poulter alone took the fight to the Americans, who went into the final day 10-6 ahead (that's a lot).

Luke Donald dispatched Bubba Watson; Paul Lawrie remarkably toppled Brandt Sneedeker. 10-8. McIlroy beat Keegan Bradley; Poulter continued to take the fight to the Americans by beating Webb Simpson; Dustin Johnson overcame Nicholas Colsaerts to take it to 11-10. European momentum slowed at this point: Justin Rose pipped Phil Mickelson but Graeme McDowell lost to Zach Johnson, 12-11. Lee Westwood and Sergio Garcia beat Matt Kuchar and Jim Furyk respectively; Jason Duffner responded to beat Swede Peter Hanson to take it to 13-13. Then the German Martin Kaymer and the Italian Francesco Molinari took on Tiger Woods and Steve Stricker, but the Europeans prevailed, winning by 14 1/2 to 13 1/2, and a comeback for the ages was complete.


5. Aguero Seals the Premier League

It's rare for the 38-game English Premier League to be decided on the final day, but how often is it decided in the final seconds? 38 played, five draws, five losses, 89 points - these were the end-of-season stats for both clubs. Manchester City had won on goal difference, with +64 to United's +56. It was as close as it had ever been.

The final day: Tied on points, United went 1-0 at Sunderland; soon after City followed suit against QPR. In the 48th minute Djibril Cissé, with the first of several 'buts', equalised for City: frustrating for City, sure, but there was still plenty of time to retake the lead. But then, with echoes of Chelsea's win over Barcelona, another controversial Englishman - this time QPR's Joey Barton - got sent off for elbowing Carlos Tevez, and it seemed, as it had in the Camp Nou, that the favourite would roll home. Of course, it was not to be. Jamie Mackie scored for QPR to make it 2-1, and suddenly City palms were sweaty. Mancini prowled. City pressed, but time ticked inexorably towards defeat. United always won - they won against everybody, but they always won against City. It was in their genes. United on top was the rightful order. But maybe Edin Dzeko, a Serbian import, and Sergio Aguero, an Argentinian, couldn't speak English well enough or didn't know the narrative. Dzeko equalised in the 92nd minute, giving the Blue Mancs a sliver of hope. And then, deep, deep, deep into Fergie time, Sergio Aguero picked up a pass from Baloteli and smacked it past the QPR keeper to make it 3-2. The game had barely restarted when the referee called the match - and the league, and the title race - to a close. The noisy neighbours had crashed the party, and for the first time since 1995, a team other than United, Arsenal or Chelsea had won the league.

4. Wiggo In Yellow.

98 editions of the Tour de France had elapsed and no British man had ever worn the coveted yellow jersey in Paris. It was the final frontier: the last great sporting competition that a Brit was yet to win. Robert Millar came close in 1984, coming 4th whilst winning the King of the Mountains jersey. 25 years later Bradley Wiggins made the definitive switch to road racing and fought to an unexpected and valiant fourth behind Alberto Contador, Andy Schleck and the villain of this year, Lance Armstrong. The following year, now a member of the nascent but wealthy Team Sky, Wiggins mounted his second challenge...and finished 24th. He returned once more in 2011, fitter than ever, but crashed out with a broken collarbone early on. It looked like it was never meant to be. But Wiggins recovered to come third in that year's Vuelta a Espana, with teammate Chris Froome taking a surprising second.

The 2012 season started, and Wiggins started winning. First he took Paris-Nice, then the Tour de Normandie, and the Criterium du Dauphine. With Alberto Contador suspended for a drugs violation and Andy Schleck out with a back injury, Wiggins seemingly had to just overcome the defending champion, the Australian Cadel Evans. In the end, the biggest threat came from within Wiggins' own team. Chris Froome out-climbed everyone, and it was only through strictly-enforced team orders that he didn't take any time out of Wiggins in the mountains. Evans slipped back, out of form and out of sorts, and only Vincenzo Nibali of Italy could offer a token resistance to the Wiggins/Froome duopoly.

Had Froome been allowed to attack, it would still be likely that Wiggins would have won. He brought his Olympic pedigree to bear in the two long timetrials, winning both - the first to take yellow; the second to consolidate it - by significant margins.

There is no 'but' in this entry: he even led out his eclipsed-but-still-formidable teammate Mark Cavendish to seal his third consecutive win on the Champs Elysees, and then went on to take Olympic time trial gold. The ease of Wiggins' victory should not detract from the momentousness of his achievement however. If anything, the remarkably low-key nature of his historic win is entirely in keeping with Wiggins' personality: modest but steely.

3. Murray's Revenge

So often the nearly man, Andy Murray had fallen short on the biggest occasions four times in a row: first at the US Open in 2008, then at the Australian in 2010 and 2011, and at Wimbledon - the one every Brit wanted him most to win - in 2012. Even before the events of the months following his defeat at Wimbledon this year unfolded, Murray was Britain's best ever tennis player. Sure, Fred Perry may have won Grand Slams, but he never did it while competing against three of the best players to ever grace the game. And yet the public resisted him. Many were slow to realise that his early-career petulance and grumpiness were things of the past, and that his 'anyone but England' quip was just a joke. There there's the horrible cliché that gets thrown around 'He's British when he wins, Scottish when he loses'. Was that ever true? I doubt it.

Anyway, Murray, as expected, got thrashed by Federer at Wimbledon. But then he did something no one expected. He cried. What on earth? There's more to him than brashness and arrogance, after all! thought the English middle-classes in unison. And then he did something else no one expected. Three weeks after he defeat to Federer, he beat him on the very same court to take Olympic gold. And a little flag kept appearing by his name on the scoreboard. It wasn't the Scottish flag. It was the British flag. The following day he took silver in the doubles with Laura Robson. It felt the transformation was complete. But still: he hadn't won a Grand Slam.

The Great British summer of sport was coming to an end. The Olympics finished, followed soon after by the paralympics. The football, tediously, started again and things were back to normal. No one told Murray. At the US Open he progressed quietly but solidly, beating Lopez, Raonic, Cilic and Berdych to reach his fifth Grand Slam final. Djokovic, his conqueror at the 2011 Australian open, awaited. His stamina is legendary, his mettle unmatched. They fought late into the night. The first set lasted 87 minutes and was settled in Murray's favour with a tie-break - the longest in US Open history. Murray then raced to a 4-0 lead in the second set before, the Djokovic resilience began to tell and was being pegged back agonisingly to 5-5. Murray broke again to take the set 7-5.

The matched dragged past midnight, and Murray weakened. Victory seemed so close but Djokovic had the fitness and the ability, and won the third easily, 6-2. The fourth went his way too, with Murray visibly wilting, and it seemed inevitable that the match would go to Djokovic. Into the early hours now, and my nerves were frayed. Every point seemed momentous. Murray clung on, then, miraculously, broke. And again. His serve was suddenly emphatic, and Djokovic, always capable of producing something, had no answer. Murray took it to 5-2, and was serving for the set. Serve: returned, back and forth, back and forth, Djokovic lob, Murray backhand smash, 15-0. Serve: out, challenge, ace! 30-0. Serve: net. Serve: return, Djokovic long! 40-0. Championship point. Serve: net. Serve: return, Djokovic winner, 40-15. Championship point #2. Serve: long. Serve: Djokovic returns...long! Game, set, match, championship Murray! To quote the man himself, C'MAWWWNNNN!

2. Super Saturday

The Olympics is ultimately about track and field. The cycling is ridiculously exciting, but track and field has the prestige. In Beijing, we won one gold and one silver: Ohurugou in the 400m and Germaine Mason in the high-jump. In London, we won three gold medals in as many hours. Rutherford, Ennis, Farah.

Greg Rutherford, the largely under-the-radar long-jumper, was the first to take gold. He leapt to 8.21m in the second round, and then extended it to 8.31. Rutherford - the the 80'000-strong crowd - could only wait with baited breath as Mitchell Watt, an Australian with a best of 8.54, took his jumps. He could only extend his previous best effort of 8.13 by 3cm; gold went to Rutherford.

Jessica Ennis had been beaten into second place in the 2011 World Championships by Chernova, and at the 2012 European indoors by Dobrynska, who set a new world record. Ennis was the London 2012 golden girl: her (unfairly pretty) face was everywhere, the nation expected, but suddenly she looked vulnerable. The pressure, one can only imagine, must have been crushing.

We needn't have worried. Ennis flew over the hurdles in the opening event, posting the fastest ever heptathlon time and equaling the 2008 gold medal winning time. Chernova and Dobrynska were nowhere. Her jumps was solid; she won the 200m; she limited her losses on her typically weak javelin throw; did well enough in the shot put; and in the last event, the 800m, with victory all but assured, she won in style.

I know a few people that were there that night.

Then came Mo Farah. Like Ennis, he too was beaten into second place in the 2011 Worlds; like Ennis, tonight he was not to be denied. Tonight belonged to Britain. He entered the race with lesson learnt from 2011: don't kick too early. That time he was run down, eyes popping and legs screaming, by the Ethiopian Jeilan.

In control throughout, Farah allowed himself to sit in the middle of the pack, content with the slow time the front runners were posting. As a time-trialist, Farah is beatable. As a racer, he almost isn't. He moved to the front three with five laps to go, alongside his American training partner Galen Rupp. The noise, I'm told, was immense. At three-and-a-half laps to go, the Ethiopians moved to the front: Gebreselassie (but not the Gebreselassie) and the Bekeles. The pack was still 12-strong at 600m. The Kenyans moved to the front, and still Farah waited. At 300m to go he moved to the front; Bekele chased. Then at 100m he kicked again and Bekele had no reponse. His challenge faded; Farah streaked ahead to take gold, and in second place was the skinny American Galen Rupp.

We might never see anything like this again. Three World Champions crowned on the same night, in London. A white man, a mixed-race woman, and a black man, all celebrated with the same borderline-demented exultation - modern, multicultural Britain like never before.

1. The Opening Ceremony

Here are a few things you might have forgotten, washed away by the summer's euphoria. The huge ever-increasing expenditure required to host Games in the face of the recession; the £400k god-awful logo; the over-bearing corporate presence; the tickets pricing debale; the Orbit; transport and infrastructure fears; the G4S fiasco; the rooftop missile platforms; the task of following Beijing; worrying early opening ceremony reports. These were the big stories before the Olympics. Optimism was scarce. LOCOG and Lord Coe insisted that the Games would be a success; others were doubtful. It could be an embarrassment. Look what we had to match: The Beijing Olympics was magnificent. They pumped $44bn into the 2008 Olympics. The Bird's Nest and the Water Cube were the best ever; the opening ceremony unmatched by history. The competition itself was fantastic, and ushered in an all-time superstar in the tall, lithe, charismatic figure of Usain Bolt. We were going to wilt. However, that word again, for the last time:

But we didn't. Danny Boyle rewrote the rulebook for opening ceremonies. The fear was we could never match the splendour and might of Beijing. And that was probably true, so Boyle, the ultimate artistic chameleon, didn't even try.

What he put on was unlike anything seen before. It was eccentric, esoteric, barmy and brilliant. And English countryside theme - okay. Then the industrial revolution bit and the forging of the five rings - pretty coo-is that Sgt. Peppers? What are they doing here? Then things went up a notch. A tribute to the NHS - underfire from the American Right, remember - as the most important social institution of our time. The our literary heritage came to the fore, Voldemort stalking childrens' beds. Tim Berners-Lee was next, a modest man who happens to be the most influential man who ever lived, and commentators around the world frantically shuffled through their notes to work out who he is. Mr. Bean reminded everyone just how funny we can be, and then James Bond and the Queen, the Brookside lesbian kiss was broadcast on Saudi television...

...and on it went. Surprise after surprise, delight after delight. The UK's collective patriotic hard-on would have reached the moon. We're actually quite good, after all, aren't we? We might have lost our Empire, our weather might be bad and our economic clout is on the wane but we still have the most creative, diverse, clever, inventive 60 million people to be found on this earth. Then our team of the 541 fittest and strongest of us set upon the best the world could muster, and we came third! Rio 2016: deeply, Good Luck.