The Best Lines From Flight Of The Conchords

These guys are capable of genius lines. Here are my favourites, in order that they appear on my iPod.

10) "They call me the Hiphopopotamous, my lyrics are bottomless."

"..."

9) "They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers/ But what's the real cost 'cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper/ Why are we paying so mch for sneakers when they're made by little slave kids? What are your overheads?"

8)"Just want to do something special, for all the ladies of the world, and the girls...Carribean...Parisian...Bolivian...Eastern Indochinian...Reptilian...Presbyterian"

7) "Oh pretty prince of parties where's
the party now? - I don't know.
Oh pretty prince of parties where does
water go? - I let it flow.
Oh pretty prince of parties can I come
to your party? - No."

6) "Everyday I look across the office floor, there you were, your hair down to your legs and your legs down the the floor"

and "Oohh leggy-blonde you've got it going on, I see you wearin' that thong thong thong, ohh let's get in on 'till the break of dawn, nmnmnnmnomnn panties on"

5) "Binary solo: 00000001 00000011 00000111 00001111 oh (oh) oh one (one) one oh (oh) Come on sucka' lick my battery"

4) "A kiss is not a contract, but its very nice. Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition for the south whoah oh oh"

3) "Let's get in a cab/ I'll buy you a kebab/ Now I can't believe I'm sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen/ With a kebab"

2) "Making love.../Making love for.../Making love for two.../Making love for two minutes"
"You whisper somthing sexy like "Is that it?"/ I know what you're trying to say, girl, you're trying to say "ahhh yeaah that's it" and you tell me you want some more, well uhh, I'm nto surprised"

2) "Do you have one really punky sequinned jump-suit, Bowie, or do you have several ch- ch- ch- changes?"

2) "Oh Frodo whatcha doin' wearin' the ring/ All-powerful jewellery is that your new thing?"
"I dont rap about bitches and hoes/I rap about witches and trolls"

1) "I'm not crying, its just been raining...on my face"
"These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me - I've just been cutting onions. I'm making a lasange...for one"

"If you chop one off, will two more grow in its place?" and other inappropriate questions to ask Maidenhead's two-headed woman

On Thursday, I was told about a woman with two heads who had begun living in Maidenhead. On Friday, I saw her. It was, without question, the most bizarre thing I have ever seen in my life. Perhaps the weirdest thing is that - apart from the 2/3 Cerberus issue - it wasn't that weird. They're totally normal looking people by themselves, more so than these http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSy9W3gIhnQ two, who look a bit odd. Anyway, their existance raises a ton of politically-incorrect questions that are endlessly fun to speculate over.

1) If you chop one off, do two grow in its place?

2) Do they have to pay for two cinema tickets, or just the one?

3) Who controls what? Have they decided that one gets the legs and the other the arms, or has one made the other her bitch?

4) If they have kids, would said kid have to have two mothers on its birth-certificate?

5) Would you?

6) Word on the street has it that they have two hearts - are they in fact Time Lords?

7) If they had three breasts to match the supposed three lungs and two hearts, would you now?

8) What about two va- okay I don't want to know that actually

9) Which would win in a fight?

10) Does it count as incest?

P.S sorry for the massive delay between posts, literally nothing in the last month of my life has been blog-worthy.


EDIT: Apparently they are the two girls in that video, just all grown up now.