***
We have this ‘do and die’ attitude, this endless well of
machismo, which drives us to batter our bodies into heaving, crumpled heaps,
legs and lungs burning and hearts pounding. After it’s over we curl up on the
track as if praying, and it feels like we’re trying not to die. Sometimes we
vomit as our bodies go into recovery mode, central nervous system fried, but we
are not in the least bit embarrassed. We’ve seen it all before.
Running – sprinting, specifically – scratches some sort of
itch that we all feel deep within us. It must be an addiction of sorts: even
though Tuesday nights always seem to be cold and wet, we nevertheless turn up
and batter ourselves for an hour and a half, then depart, feeling exhausted but
satisfied. Purged even. This ritual is repeated three further times each week
(excluding gym sessions). Strangely, the more you commit the stronger the hold
it has over you; it feels inescapable. Everything comes second to training –
university work, our social lives, holidays, everything – but unlike recreational
drugs the mental pleasure we get from sprinting never diminishes.
I often wonder if any of my peers have any notion of what I
put myself through; any notion of what it’s like to have exhausted yourself so
thoroughly that you are able only to stagger like a drunkard back to the start for
the next rep; to be overcome by nausea and puke on the grass; to wake up the
next day with muscles that cause you agony with every movement. And to enjoy
doing this, to suffer alongside friends, to savour the morning after’s dose of muscular
pain because you know it is the pain of improvement. My housemate greets me, ‘Oh
hi, Malcolm, how was training?’ ‘Yeah, alright, got soaked again’. She has no
idea.
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